“…and the day came when the risk to remain in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” I heard these words in 2005 and realized just how stuck in my muck I really was. I also realized at that time that I was worn out from living in my husband’s shadow – I had been married for 22 years at the time – this shadow thing was about me being stuck nothing to do with him).
It was time for me to travel on a self-discovery journey in finding and restoring myself and getting out of my own way. I’ve stayed married through all my growth – 37 years.
Being stuck in my muck for over 25+ years was painful and it was time for me to leap. Was I scared? You BET I was! So, SO frightened – although the pain was larger than the fear at the time. When I heard these words by Anais Nin, I knew it was time for a change. I leaped and have not looked back. I will be honest though, I have gotten in my way a few times since then but I jump up, wipe the dirt from my knees, and get going again. It’s way frustrating when we stumble but it is normal! When we get in our own way -It is all about our support, commitment and resilience and the importance of fighting through it.
My journey of being stuck in my muck includes being an uncontrolled Type 2 Diabetic. Every. Single. Day. I would wake up with the intention to eat better, eat healthy. And every single day IT was bigger than me. Over a time span of 37 years, I have tried approximately 42 diets (probably more, that’s all my husband and I can remember). I attended a 2-year food addiction program that helped me have abstinence for 8 months but then I relapsed and I am back working on this again. I have been committing suicide with food (previously alcohol and food) for way too long so I truly hope this time is my final lap healing my worn-out soul. I have been alcohol free for 2.5 years. ????
By chance, do you struggle with an addiction? Almost 21 million Americans have at least one addiction, yet only 10% of them receive treatment. Addiction Statistics – Facts on Drug and Alcohol Use – Addiction Center
Don’t be ashamed or hard on yourself, a lot of us struggle. There are many types of addictions. Shopping, eating, substances (me- beer), love, food (me), shoes, handbags the list goes on and on.
According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, more than 5.3 million women ages 18 and older have an alcohol use disorder. Alcoholism Statistics You Need to Know | Talbott Recovery (talbottcampus.com).
Struggling with the 2 addictions and an eating disorder along with body issues, I had to teach myself different kinds of relaxing modality’s because my brain hardly ever relaxes. I found doodling and watercolors (in addition to my Quiet time and praying) really helps me to fight through the urge to drink, eat thinks I shouldn’t.
I realized in my late 40’s what had caused and was causing my low self-worth. Finally!! It was Dad issues. I’m not going into that at this time but I’ll tell you it was a relief to finally figure this limited belief out!! So many of us struggle with the Limited Beliefs we painfully continue to hold onto. These LB’s hold us back (like my Dad issue). We live in fear, we self-sabotage, we live with self-doubt, we are insecure, we are overwhelmed, we have low self-confidence and low self-worth – the list goes on and on and on! I teach you how to increase real self-love and create real lasting change.
Over the last several years I’ve also learned to lean on my Higher Power, God. I talk to him daily, multiple times, and I am in Quiet Time with him for 30 minutes each day. I couldn’t have gotten sober without him. I had to learn how to Let go and Let God. (very hard because I am good at being a control freak, manipulator and being defiant).
One of the key items I did was to establish a deep inner awareness. This can be your intuition, God, Source or a Higher Power. It really helped me when I turned inward with meditation and prayer.
You may be thinking WTH is this lady talking about. I get it. I thought this several years ago before my faith strengthened. I’m not kidding you when I tell you that your spiritual faith can be and will be your fighting chance to sustain your life of recovery.
I’ve had amazing life experiences the last several years since connecting with something greater than myself. If you’re wondering about this, trust me, you won’tbe sorry. Here’s an article; Connect to Something Greater Than Yourself | HuffPost Life
If all this talk about Spiritual connection and a power greater than yourself feels a little crazy for you; you do you. ???? Sharing this part of my story wasn’t in the initial plan – and then things changed as I was writing this and received a strong God nudge to share.
2020 was a frightening year, in many aspects and I wanted a drink. I needed a drink. My self-care and Self-love time became vital in keeping me sober. Plus, I really learned what Faith is and how to apply it when life is turned upside down.
Creating art and art journaling has been my therapy for years before COVID-19 hit. Currently, I am living proof that finding a craft can transform your life. I love painting and creating things with paper. I use acrylics, watercolors, doodling, painting rocks and acorns. Find your favorite way to create and dive in -set perfection and comparison aside. This all comes back to taking care of you first and finding a craft that you can spend time on.
I had to find a way to calm my mind and bring inner peace – I now know what tools I can use when the adversary is at work. Besides prayer, God, pen & paper; journaling, I also use gratitude journaling, morning pages, meditation and stretching my body.
When I began my personal growth journey in ’05 I didn’t realize it would take me quite this long to break through my layers of ‘crap.’ I am so excited to now be able to work with aspiring women who want to restore and transform. I can shorten their learning curve and I’m so excited for them. Being in this current head space gives me so much peace and freedom.
The foundational principals I’ve used to build both of our successful companies andcreate my personal transformation are the same mindset tools and success principles I share with my clients.
My mission is to empower 500,000 girls and women to increase their self-worth, lean on their inner courage, believe in themselves and feel the fear and leap anyway. My dream is to help them master the skill of leveraging their adversity and to create success for themselves.
“I guide and support aspiring women who are in overwhelm, self-doubt and fear to expand and feel more joy, self-love, abundance and peace. This is all about Overcoming, Restoring and Becoming who You are meant to be.”
I hope by me sharing my experience here – you’ll receive strength and hope to move forward and wake up each and every day trying. Baby steps! Working on getting better each day. By applying self-compassion and self-care to your life you’ll magically increase abundance in each area of your life: your health, relationships, finances and spirituality.
Along my journey I have experienced the power of the words “I AM.” The words that follow “I AM” begin the creation process. The words after “I AM” are our identity. If you believe in the words that follow you are then shaping your life to follow. By using “I AM” declarations you are retraining your brain to accept your true capability’s.
If you are seeking answers look inside yourself…. Listen…. Be open to being guided.
Offering hope to others that they can also arrive and not be in their own way. Always new possibilities. I want to offer lighthearted awakenings through our own creative self, the healing path is open and we can and will step into our personal power. We play bigger, we are no longer frightened, the fear has lifted, our load has been lightened – all we have to do now is Trust. Trust the process. Trust God. Trust yourself.
Since beginning to live in harmony with the universal laws I now experience a sense of well-being, improved health (getting better each day), energy and I love ME. This can be You. ???? I will assist you in getting there along with your inspired action.
I appreciate you being here with me.
Always Remember, “I Believe in YOU.”